remembrance

Tonight I made collard greens for the first time.  They are a very southern dish and generally served with some good fried chicken (foreign to those of us who have spent their whole lives in California).



 As I cooked, I couldn't help but think about my time as a teacher at 109th St. Elementary (where fried chicken made an appearance at every staff meal) and my dear friend Mrs. Ruthland.  Mrs. Ruthland was an African-American woman from Louisiana who spent 32 years (previous to my meeting her) teaching at the same school in Watts (South Central LA).  I have to say "was" because in January I learned that she had died a month earlier.  I did not find out in time to attend the memorial service and my heart grieves for her passing.  Not so much for her - she is in a place with no more tears or suffering - but for me and for Hannah who will never get to know her "chocolate auntie" (this is how Mrs. Ruthland wanted Hannah to know her).  I thought I might take this post to share about who she was and what a unique person she was in my life.

She began teaching at 109th St. right after the infamous Watts Riots in the 1970's.  By the time I met her our students were children of previous students of hers.  She was firm but loving with the children, always trying to impart to them their potential and how lucky they were for the era they were growing up in.  She shared stories of her childhood in Louisiana - having to go to the bathroom in the bushes because there were no bathrooms for her to use or her mom holding up dresses to see if they would fit her because stores would not let her try them on, they would be considered dirty aftwards.  She never showed bitterness about this but hope because of how things had changed.  She held Martin Luther King Jr. in high regard.  And was a believer & strong follower of Jesus.  She once told me that she had no idea her family was poor because they always had something to give away.  She loved Matt (my hubby) and even drove out to Northridge one Sunday to hear him preach.  She rarely called me "Joy" but always "Robbins".  She encouraged me and mentored me through my first treacherous year of teaching.  We spent hours talking before and after school, and at recess.  Ultimately we left 109th St. the same year - she retired and we moved up here.  But each time we visited LA, we visited her.  She'd have us over for a meal, tell us about her church, her ministry there, and when Hannah came along - she absolutely delighted in her.  Mrs. Ruthland was divorced and never able to bear children (she thought it had something to do with the hard labor she did in fields as a child).  I think she enjoyed taking on our family and others as extensions of her own.  I expected that we would have more time with her.

By the way - my greens were delicious -  lightly sauteed & steamed with sliced onions then tossed in a balsalmic vinegar, honey & ginger dressing.  Nothing like the southern way of cooking them with ham hocks.  Mrs. Ruthland probably would have called me a rabbit for fixing them this way (she often said I ate like a rabbit because I liked salad so much).   

I miss you Mrs. Ruthland.  I pray that you are dancing with Jesus.